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Tea & Empathy April 2010 – Easter

By April 4, 2010 All Blog Posts, Tea & Empathy

This month I begin a new monthly column for the Redmond United Methodist Church newsletter called Tea and Empathy.  Here is April’s edition:

The eleventh chapter of John tells us about what Jesus was doing just before the Passion Story begins.  He has arrived at the home of his dear friends, Mary and Martha, as they are grieving the death of their brother Lazarus who died four days prior. The two women have very different reactions to Jesus’ arrival.

Martha’s conversation with Jesus is primarily theological; they have a nice little talk about Martha’s faith that Lazarus will be resurrected in the last days when all are resurrected.

Mary’s reaction to Jesus is a little less, shall we say, “spiritual” or “rational” about the whole thing.  Mary has been weeping, deeply distraught, and many others have been with her consoling her.  She cries out to Jesus, saying only, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!”  Mary doesn’t have any less faith than Martha in Jesus as Lord, but in this moment she is expressing her deep pain and anger over her loss.

Jesus, in response to Mary’s pain, weeps with her.

What is remarkable about this is that Jesus has known since before he even arrived that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead—he all but says so in previous verses.  And yet even though he knows that in a few short moments Lazarus will be alive again, he still weeps.   Jesus’ response to human suffering is empathy—feeling with—and because Mary is in deep pain, Jesus too experiences emotional pain.

Easter brings with it the amazing story of the way that love conquers death, reminding us that one day we will be reunited with those who’ve passed on, because physical death is not the end of life.  While this is a beautiful sentiment and may be helpful in our healing process when we are grieving, it doesn’t stop us from weeping in the here and now of the deep pain of loss.  Jesus’ empathic weeping with Mary affirmed the goodness and rightness of human emotion, and tells us that we do not have to suffer in those feelings alone.

So this Easter, if you are able, celebrate with Martha that Jesus is the resurrection and the life!  But if you are like Mary, feeling sad or angry or grieving, allow Jesus to weep with you, and know that you are not alone.

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