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Light of the World — Wedding Homily — Matthew 5:14-16

By June 21, 2008 All Blog Posts, Sermons

Becca, Anthony, we are all so thrilled to be here with you as you make this commitment to one another today. You come here together, in a relationship that already has a rich history of ups and downs, fun times and tougher times, times of perfect harmony and times of not-so-perfect harmony.

I still remember the day that Becca first told me about Anthony. There was something different in her voice, and a different kind of sparkle in her eyes. It’s hard to put a finger on, and I don’t think she actually said “I think he’s the one” but something in her demeanor said that. She had never been quite so excited about a guy before. She told me they had been introduced by a couple of friends—it was only later that I found out that Anthony was supposed to have been set up with a different friend that night! But God managed to still draw these two together that night.

So here we are, celebrating your decision to embark on this new covenanted journey. What does all this mean? What is so special about what’s happening here today anyway? Well, we could probably spend all day talking about the nuances of what makes marriage a unique relationship, but let’s focus on one aspect of it—the way the love between two married people shines in the world.

Matthew 5:14-16 reads: ‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

The purpose of a light shining isn’t that the light itself be seen, but that it illuminates something else. According to this scripture, our light shines so that glory can be given to God. With regards to marriage specifically, I would say the light that shines from a marriage illuminates God’s love for each of us. A marriage is like a city on a hill—it is unable to be hidden from the world. The kind of love that you two will share in marriage can be a beacon of light illuminating the kind of love that God has for us.

What are some of the characteristics of this kind of love? To name just a few, mutuality, work, joy and play, a life-giving quality, and mystery.

When I say “mutuality,” I mean that it is a relationship between two persons who are equally empowered and equipped by God. Two persons who have unique gifts and shortcomings, unique strengths and weaknesses, both walking side-by-side, partners in God’s unfolding plan for their lives.
The two of you already know that relationships take work. The kind of love that we celebrate in marriage isn’t the love of pop songs and chick flick movies (though we’ve had our fun watching those together, haven’t we Becca?). It’s not Cinderella and Prince Charming riding off into a “happily ever after.” There will be times when life throws something difficult your way, and there will be times when your relationship itself encounters speed bumps of one kind or another. But the kind of love you are covenanting today will help you to work through those issues and face life’s problems together, with your shared strength.

Joy and play is an important one that I don’t think gets enough attention in our society. I mean, just look at Jesus—the very embodiment of God’s love for us. And we just heard about him performing his first miracle. Did you notice that Jesus’ first miracle was giving wine to people who were partying? Jesus was God’s love letter to humans, and that part of the letter says, “there are times when it is good to party!” But even when it’s not a time to party, there can still be playfulness and fun. So find times to let your inner child out. Play the Wii together, travel, heck, even have a food fight! Delight in the precious gift you are to one another.

When I say “marriages are life-giving” I don’t just mean in the sense that children may be born. I mean something more than that—that the love in marriages nurtures and sustains life. This may mean children born into that marriage, but it also means the lives of one another, of friends and family, and of the community in general. The kind of love in a marriage is nurturing in that it provides support and comfort, and it is sustaining in that it sees that the needs of each individual, and of the relationship itself, are met.

Finally, this love is a mystery. Rainer Maria Rilke says, “Once the realization is accepted that, even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky.” I love this idea, that even though marriage is the most intimate human relationship we can enter into, we will still never fully know the other. That if a lot of us here are gathered again in 2058 to celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary, there could still be something new you’d learn about each other that day. That is just cool to me! I also love the image that we must stand back from one another before being able to see the other “whole against a wide sky.” And that we must learn to love this distance between us so that we can enter into that wonderful living side by side.

This mysterious, life-giving, joyful love that you two will share will be a beacon of light into the community. The love you have for one another comes from and points to our God who rejoices with us in good times, supports us in tough times, nurtures and sustains us, and however intimate and close God comes to us, always still somehow remains a great mystery. May you find yourselves wrapped ever tighter in this mysterious love in your years together, and may the community around you be blessed by the light of God’s love shining through your love for one another.

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