comfort

May 07

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Be Still?

By admin | All Blog Posts, Tea & Empathy | No Comments

The following is the full text of the May edition of my monthly column, Tea & Empathy, in the Redmond UMC Newsletter. Click here to go to the RUMC website to download the newsletter.

Be still and know that I am God
– Psalm 46:10

This well-known scripture is frequently heard in our Christian communities. It’s often used as a reminder to us not to worry, to relax and trust in God. It may be used to remind us that “God is in charge” and allow us to let go in situations where we are trying to control something that really cannot be controlled. But what does this really mean, to “be still”? I am wondering how many of us are able to really and truly be still. To be quiet—silent even!—with ourselves.

Several years ago, while I was in seminary, I went on a three-night private retreat. I saw the value in being alone with my thoughts, and planned to spend a good portion of time there in silence and prayer. What I discovered, unfortunately, was that going from “60 to 0” was quite a shock to my system. I had been so accustomed to working hard, filling my time, running from one place to the next, that to truly stop and be quiet was overwhelming. All my demons, all my fears and anxieties and other painful emotions, suddenly became unavoidable. Unequipped to deal with such a shock to my system, I left the retreat early.

As I look back on this experience of my younger self, I realize that what I needed was not to go from “60 to 0” but instead to first try going from “60 to 55” and then work from there. When we come to understand that we need to spend more time being still, it’s important to realize that the process needn’t be an overwhelming shock to our system. It can be a slow and gentle process of learning to acknowledge those demons, to simply have (rather than trying to avoid) those painful emotions.

If you are feeling the need or the Spirit’s pull to “be still,” how about taking ten or fifteen minutes each day to turn off the TV, silence the phone, and take some time to simply breathe and pay attention to what’s going on in your body. In the stillness, just breathe in and out, and check in with your heart, mind, and body. Ask yourself what sensations you are experiencing, what feelings you are having. And when you feel a painful feeling—like anger, sadness, or fear—try to just experience it rather than avoid it or talk yourself out of it.

I believe some people can do this on their own, but most will need resources of support in this process. A book I strongly recommend to those feeling the pull to learn how to “be still” is Shadows of the Heart by the Whiteheads. Another resource that can be very useful is spiritual direction or counseling, especially if you begin to feel overwhelmed or stuck. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need some assistance in finding resources.

The concept of being still can be scary and overwhelming, but stillness is a precious gift that God has given us. Don’t miss out on it because the demons have gotten overwhelming. There is hope. We can all know what it means to “be still and know that I am God.”

Dec 01

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An early-arriving Christmas may bring us joy or pain

By admin | All Blog Posts, Tea & Empathy | No Comments

The following is the full text of the December edition of my monthly column, Tea & Empathy, in the Redmond UMC Newsletter. Click here to go to the RUMC website to download the newsletter.

This year, two radio stations (106.9 and 95.7) both started playing Christmas music at midnight on Saturday, November 13th. Years ago, 106.9 played Christmas music the weekend after Thanksgiving, which turned into Thanksgiving day, then the weekend before Thanksgiving, and this year the weekend before that. So, if it seems to you like Christmas is coming earlier and earlier every year… well, you are right!

Some of you are excited about that; I know because I have seen the twinkle in your eyes as you talk about Christmas coming and I have seen your Facebook statuses celebrating the arrival of Christmas music on the radio. But some of you are less than excited about it. You may be concerned that by the time Christmas actually comes, you will be tired of Christmas. Or perhaps you are a theological pedant and insist that we are in advent; Christmas does not come until midnight the 25th!

I have been in each of these positions over the years. Some years I’ve been way too excited about Christmas to wait, while other years I’ve wished that culture could hold off a bit. This year, what strikes me is that perhaps we are all in need of a bit of a lift.

Let’s face it, RUMC. We’ve been in an economic recession for two years. Money is still tight for many of us; and for some of us we are out of work or worried about lay-offs. On top of that, many of us have been dealing with illnesses and the loss of loved ones. For some of us, maybe we just need to have a reason to celebrate.

Christmas music may give us a new spring in our step. The thought of children ripping paper off of presents with delightful anticipation may bring a smile to our face. Sometimes seeing the twinkling lights and hearing jingle bells warms and soothes our heart. And if that brings you the hope, joy, love, and peace that we celebrate throughout advent, then I say this is a good thing.

I also want to recognize that for some of us, the holidays may bring the opposite feelings of what I’ve just described. Some of us may feel anxiety about gift-giving with finances being tight, others of us might feel the pain of missing a loved one who is far away or has passed away. If you find yourself in this position, please know that you are supported and prayed for by your church family. Don’t hesitate to share your prayer requests with us. And if you need someone confidential to talk to, my door is always open.

Bottom line: do what you need to do this holiday season to be as happy and safe as you need to be, and let’s all collectively decide not to worry about what anyone else thinks!

Jul 04

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A word of encouragement for the oppressed

By Katie | Words of Encouragement | No Comments

A scripture reading: Isaiah 61:1-3 (NRSV).

The spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me;
he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
to bind up the broken-hearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and release to the prisoners;
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
to provide for those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a garland instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, to display his glory.

The King James translates that eleventh line as “beauty for ashes,” which tends to be a well-known (and oft-sung) phrase in Christendom precisely because it is so comforting. The idea that God will bring us beauty for ashes—give us a garland—brings joy and hope out of a situation that often leaves the oppressed angry or depressed.

Jun 02

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A word of encouragement for those who are grieving

By Katie | Words of Encouragement | No Comments

From the Mystic Odes of Rumi:

Our death is our wedding with eternity
What is the secret? “God is One.”
The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house.
This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes;
It is not in the juice made from the grapes.
For he who is living in the Light of God,
The death of the carnal soul is a blessing.
Regarding him, say neither bad nor good,
For he is gone beyond the good and the bad.
Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible,
So that he may place another look in your eyes.
It is in the vision of the physical eyes
That no invisible or secret thing exists.
But when the eye is turned toward the Light of God
What thing could remain hidden under such a Light?
Although all lights emanate from the Divine Light
Don’t call all these lights “the Light of God”;
It is the eternal light which is the Light of God,
The ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh.
…Oh God who gives the grace of vision!
The bird of vision is flying towards You with the wings of desire.

Apr 04

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Tea & Empathy April 2010 – Easter

By Katie | All Blog Posts, Tea & Empathy | No Comments

This month I begin a new monthly column for the Redmond United Methodist Church newsletter called Tea and Empathy. Here is April’s edition:

The eleventh chapter of John tells us about what Jesus was doing just before the Passion Story begins. He has arrived at the home of his dear friends, Mary and Martha, as they are grieving the death of their brother Lazarus who died four days prior. The two women have very different reactions to Jesus’ arrival.

Martha’s conversation with Jesus is primarily theological; they have a nice little talk about Martha’s faith that Lazarus will be resurrected in the last days when all are resurrected.

Mary’s reaction to Jesus is a little less, shall we say, “spiritual” or “rational” about the whole thing. Mary has been weeping, deeply distraught, and many others have been with her consoling her. She cries out to Jesus, saying only, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!” Mary doesn’t have any less faith than Martha in Jesus as Lord, but in this moment she is expressing her deep pain and anger over her loss.

Jesus, in response to Mary’s pain, weeps with her.

What is remarkable about this is that Jesus has known since before he even arrived that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead—he all but says so in previous verses. And yet even though he knows that in a few short moments Lazarus will be alive again, he still weeps. Jesus’ response to human suffering is empathy—feeling with—and because Mary is in deep pain, Jesus too experiences emotional pain.

Easter brings with it the amazing story of the way that love conquers death, reminding us that one day we will be reunited with those who’ve passed on, because physical death is not the end of life. While this is a beautiful sentiment and may be helpful in our healing process when we are grieving, it doesn’t stop us from weeping in the here and now of the deep pain of loss. Jesus’ empathic weeping with Mary affirmed the goodness and rightness of human emotion, and tells us that we do not have to suffer in those feelings alone.

So this Easter, if you are able, celebrate with Martha that Jesus is the resurrection and the life! But if you are like Mary, feeling sad or angry or grieving, allow Jesus to weep with you, and know that you are not alone.

Nov 03

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A prayer for fall

By Katie | All Blog Posts | No Comments

Today as I ran errands I noticed the splashes of color that some of the trees still painted with their leaves, while others were almost barren. Dead, brown, dried leaves littered the road while vibrant, spectacular reds and yellows still grew on some trees. The season of Fall can remind us of the cycle of life and death. Trees must shed their leaves to conserve their resources during the winter, in which they are invisibly preparing for the spring, when they will paint the world a vibrant green once again with leaves (and sometimes pinks and yellows and oranges and purples with blossoms and fruit).

This fall, what are you allowing to slough off? What negative emotions, harmful habits, or unnecessary commitments are you ready to allow to shed–to release–so that you can make room inside for the growth that will lead to the spring?

A Prayer for Fall
by Jim Winkler

O Thou who hast shaped both the world in which we live as well as our lives as individuals and nations according to seasons,
we thank Thee
for realities changeable and unchangeable,
for gentle mornings and cool evenings,
for gifts that sensitize and deepen our spirits
and for the mounting anticipation of holy days and holidays.
We thank Thee for lives deepened and nurtured by loving relationships,
the warm acceptance of friend and family,
the deep ties nurtured within Thy holy Church
and the peace of Thy Spirit in the midst of the struggles of war and torture and debasement.
May these and all Thy blessings shape us into people
more prone to giving than receiving,
more given to gratitude than complaining,
more aware of need than our own self-satisfaction.
Thou knowest, O God, that there is another side to us:
discouragement often tempts us to despair;
anger leads to depression;
tension grows into anxiety;
grief makes us withdraw;
incapacitation tempts us to self-pity;
rejection leads to loneliness.
We bring such subtle turns of mind to Thee, yielding our lives to thine inestimable grace, seeking trust in Thee and Thy will. Lead us from the deserts of unfaithfulness into the rich plains of hope. Guide us from the dark caves of doubt into the illumination of faith. Heal our spirits, give us new life.
Complete the work Thou hast begun. Because of our blessings, release us through a flow of gentleness and mercy that will bring
healing where there is hurt;
peace where there is violence;
beauty where there is ugliness;
justice where there is brokenness;
beginnings where there are dead-ends.
O Thou who art beyond our grasp yet within our reach, past our knowing but answerable to our searching, disturber of the assured and assurer of the disturbed, grant thy grace to those for whom we especially pray:
those who live in darkness of poverty and need the light of prosperity;
those who live in the light or prosperity and need the grace of sharing;
those who live in the midst of defeat and need the peace that passeth all understanding;
those who suffer pain and those who give their lives to healing ministries;
those who have heard the Word and strayed away and those who tell the Truth.
O Keeper of Promises, renew the promise in us and in those we love; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.