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Katie

Jun 02
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A word of encouragement for those who are grieving

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From the Mystic Odes of Rumi:

Our death is our wedding with eternity
What is the secret? “God is One.”
The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house.
This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes;
It is not in the juice made from the grapes.
For he who is living in the Light of God,
The death of the carnal soul is a blessing.
Regarding him, say neither bad nor good,
For he is gone beyond the good and the bad.
Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible,
So that he may place another look in your eyes.
It is in the vision of the physical eyes
That no invisible or secret thing exists.
But when the eye is turned toward the Light of God
What thing could remain hidden under such a Light?
Although all lights emanate from the Divine Light
Don’t call all these lights “the Light of God”;
It is the eternal light which is the Light of God,
The ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh.
…Oh God who gives the grace of vision!
The bird of vision is flying towards You with the wings of desire.

Jun 02
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Tea & Empathy June 2010 – Turn, Turn, Turn

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“To everything, turn, turn, turn / There is a season, turn, turn, turn” says a popular Byrds song.  Is your life turning?  Perhaps you or a family member are graduating preschool, high school, or graduate school.  Perhaps you have recently begun a new job, or lost an old one.  Perhaps you’ve been diagnosed with a new illness, or an old illness has gone in remission.  Perhaps a new relationship has begun for you; perhaps one has ended.  Our lives are often in flux, and my guess is that most of you reading this are experiencing a turning somewhere in your life.

The Byrds song is loosely based on Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, which reads:

3For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

I find this scripture both challenging and comforting.  It is challenging in the sense that it reminds us that there is a time for both things that are pleasant and things that are unpleasant; time for things that are joyful and that are painful.  It reminds us that our joys and pleasures are temporary, for a season of mourning will come too; this challenges us to enjoy and savor those moments when they come.

It is also comforting because it reminds us that even when things are painful, or scary, or very difficult, we are in the midst of a season that will, truly, pass.  Sometimes in the midst of a deep depression or an excruciating grief, we may forget there was ever a time of joy and have a hard time believing there ever will be a time of joy again.  This passage in Ecclesiastes reminds us that all of these times pass eventually.  If now is a time for weeping or mourning or loss for you, take comfort in knowing that there will soon be time for laughter and dancing and seeking.

You are invited to a Transitions Workshop, led by Katie, on Saturday, July 17th from 1:00-3:00pm in the Fellowship Hall.  We will examine the ways that we experience all of life’s transitions, large and small, joyful and painful, and learn strategies for coping with the painful aspects of transitions.  A free will offering will be collected for the counseling scholarship fund.


May 02
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Tea & Empathy May 2010 – Mother’s Day

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This month the community celebrates Mother’s Day, a day that for many can be a wonderful time to share gratitude and love between mothers and children. For some, however, the day may bring other feelings—sadness, grief, or disappointment. Some of us are missing a mother who has passed away, some of us wish that we had more healthy relationships with our mothers or children, and still others of us want children and don’t have them. Mother’s Day can be a reminder of the joy of the gift of family and it can also be a reminder of that which we no longer have or never had.

But whether Mother’s Day is a joyous or difficult occasion, I think it is an excellent opportunity for all of us to reflect on the mothering aspects of God. As we know, there are many images for God found throughout the Bible and in Christian tradition. Most of the images are male but there are female images as well. One that is particularly relevant to Mother’s Day is found in Luke chapter 13. Jesus says, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem… How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings!” This gives us the image of God as a mother hen, drawing her chicks into the safety and comfort provided by the loving embrace of her wings.

Another image of a mothering God that has been on my mind recently is the image of the “babywearing” mother. Some mothers choose to carry their babies in a sling on their person most of the time. This doesn’t work for all families, but when it does work it can be a beautiful thing. And I wonder what it would be like if we really felt ourselves being held and carried by a babywearing mother God at all times.

Whatever your experience of Mother’s Day is this year in your community and family, I invite you to use it as a time to reflect on how images of God as a mother can deepen and enrich your relationship with Her.

Apr 26
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Live your life well

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Do you ever feel a general sense of a lack of well-being?  Maybe you are not sleeping as well as you would like, but don’t feel your problem is serious insomnia.  Perhaps you wish you were happier, but don’t believe that you are depressed.  Maybe you wish you had more energy or just felt better in general.  The way we have managed to organize our society doesn’t always allow us to take time to rest, allow ourselves to sleep as much as we need to, or spend the money and time creating nutritious, tasty meals.  We often feel we are always on-the-go, grabbing a bite here and there, trying to squeeze 8 hours of sleep out of 6 hours of time, and never having quite as much time as we’d like with our family.

What would it take to slow down, cut out unnecessary obligations, and really allow ourselves to engage in self-care?  Perhaps just the realization that we are worth it; that our pace of life isn’t healthy or sustainable, and simply, we deserve to live a more relaxed, connected, satisfied life.

The United Methodist General Board of Church and Society points us to the Live Your Life Well website, launched in anticipation of Mental Health Month in May.

Live Your Life Well is a national public education campaign dedicated to helping people better cope with stress and enhancing their well-being. Stress can take a huge toll on a person’s health, mood, productivity and relationships, but specific, evidence-based tools can help counterbalance these effects, according to Mental Health America.

The site suggests 10 guidelines to live your life well:

  1. connect with others,
  2. stay positive,
  3. get physically active,
  4. help others,
  5. get enough sleep,
  6. create joy and satisfaction,
  7. eat well,
  8. take care of your spirit,
  9. deal better with hard times, and
  10. get professional help if you need it.

The website gives more information about each of these ten and suggestions for implementing them in our daily life.  It also provides wonderful resources for managing stress.  For more information, check out the Live Your Life Well website or the Mental Health Awareness Month website.

Apr 04
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Tea & Empathy April 2010 – Easter

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This month I begin a new monthly column for the Redmond United Methodist Church newsletter called Tea and Empathy.  Here is April’s edition:

The eleventh chapter of John tells us about what Jesus was doing just before the Passion Story begins.  He has arrived at the home of his dear friends, Mary and Martha, as they are grieving the death of their brother Lazarus who died four days prior. The two women have very different reactions to Jesus’ arrival.

Martha’s conversation with Jesus is primarily theological; they have a nice little talk about Martha’s faith that Lazarus will be resurrected in the last days when all are resurrected.

Mary’s reaction to Jesus is a little less, shall we say, “spiritual” or “rational” about the whole thing.  Mary has been weeping, deeply distraught, and many others have been with her consoling her.  She cries out to Jesus, saying only, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!”  Mary doesn’t have any less faith than Martha in Jesus as Lord, but in this moment she is expressing her deep pain and anger over her loss.

Jesus, in response to Mary’s pain, weeps with her.

What is remarkable about this is that Jesus has known since before he even arrived that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead—he all but says so in previous verses.  And yet even though he knows that in a few short moments Lazarus will be alive again, he still weeps.   Jesus’ response to human suffering is empathy—feeling with—and because Mary is in deep pain, Jesus too experiences emotional pain.

Easter brings with it the amazing story of the way that love conquers death, reminding us that one day we will be reunited with those who’ve passed on, because physical death is not the end of life.  While this is a beautiful sentiment and may be helpful in our healing process when we are grieving, it doesn’t stop us from weeping in the here and now of the deep pain of loss.  Jesus’ empathic weeping with Mary affirmed the goodness and rightness of human emotion, and tells us that we do not have to suffer in those feelings alone.

So this Easter, if you are able, celebrate with Martha that Jesus is the resurrection and the life!  But if you are like Mary, feeling sad or angry or grieving, allow Jesus to weep with you, and know that you are not alone.

Feb 22
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YES! — Wedding Homily — 2 Cor 1:20

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I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of an old friend this last weekend.  It was my first time “flying solo” at a wedding though I had co-officiated two previous weddings, and what a blessing to be part of my friends’ lives in this way.  Below you’ll find the full text of the wedding homily.  Before that, though, I’ve included the poem that the bride’s brother read right before it, so that it will make more sense.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

– e e cummings

I just love the first verse of that poem.  I thank You God for most this amazing day.  This truly is an amazing day, not just for Ailey and Ritchie but for all of us, to be honored by sharing in their joy as they commit to sharing their life together in marriage.  I thank You God for most this amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky.  And literally, we really do have this sort of “leaping greenly spirits of trees” as buds and blossoms are coming on the wings of an early spring, and this weekend we are graced with a gorgeous blue sky.  It’s like the whole earth is celebrating with us!

And the last line of that poem thanks God for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.  What better way to describe the marriage covenant—natural, infinite, yes.  There is a naturalness to the way that I see Ailey and Ritchie interacting.  They are comfortable in their own skin around each other, accepting one another’s weaknesses as well as strengths, and accepting the growing edges of their relationship right along with it’s tremendous joys.  There is an infiniteness to the love that these two share; it is unconditional and uncontainable.  And they come together today to say yes to life together, to say yes to one another.  And we come, as a community, to say yes right along with them, yes to each of them, and yes to their new life together as husband and wife.

This reminds me of a passage from 2 Corinthians chapter 1, verse 20: For in Christ every one of God’s promises is a “Yes.” For this reason it is through Christ that we say the “Amen,” to the glory of God.  This scripture tells us that, through Jesus, God’s promises were yeses.  Jesus’ life is an affirmation that God says yes to human living, to the point of living among us for a time, experiencing all of the joys and sorrows, the pains and celebrations that human life has to offer.  In Christ God expressed unconditional, uncontainable love for us.  In Christ God said yes to us.

In just a moment, Ailey and Ritchie will say yes to one another, in their own words, in the marriage vows.  In this sacred moment, they covenant with one another to choose to say yes to one another, to the family they will create, and to their future life together.  The kind of love expressed between Ailey and Ritchie today becomes an example of the kind of love that God has for us.  Their love is like a shining light out into the world saying yes to love.  The love that they share, and the love that God has for us, is unconditional and uncontainable.  It is everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

We thank you God, for most this amazing day.

Feb 02
0

Meeting us where we are

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There is a very thought-provoking article up on Slate right now called The Vancouver Experiment.  It details a drop-in center in Vancouver, BC where addicts can come to get their fix.  Yes, you read that right.  Of course, the center doesn’t provide drugs; the folks have to bring their own drugs, and they have to inject themselves.  There are booths which provide a safe place for users to use.  According to the article:

For many of the users, the injection room is a first point of contact with the health care system. Users get medical treatment from the nurses, who clean and bandage abscesses and give referrals for further care. The addicts are a deeply traumatized population, many with mental illness and histories of abuse and so require an extraordinary amount of patience. An oft-repeated dictum for the staff at Insite is to “meet people where they are.” It is a constant effort to be nonjudgmental about the choices addicts make.

This is a place where folks who struggle with debilitating addictions can be “met where they are,” without judgment or moralization.  They come to this place, get high in a safe environment, and have access to some basic health care and other help.  When they are ready, they can enter a two-week detox program located upstairs in the same building, and graduates of that detox program can take advantage of temporary housing on the third level until they are able to secure more stable housing.

This is a truly revolutionary approach to health care.  So often, we expect people to reach a certain level of health or wherewithal before we are even willing to help them.  Many health care providers require folks to be “clean” or “sober” before giving treatment, others may expect other behaviors or attitudes before willing to provide help.  Here at this place, the health care and social workers are meeting the folks exactly where they are, so that when they are willing to enter a process of healing, they will have trusted individuals to whom they can turn for help.

I did a 20-month internship with Craig Rennebohm of the Mental Health Chaplaincy during my masters program.  While I spent most of my time there placed at the Recovery Café, a drop-in day center for folks recovering from addictions and homelessness, I was incredibly blessed to have Craig as my supervisor because he taught me so much about meeting people where they are.  Craig is a true example of this, as he literally goes to where the people are–on the streets of Seattle.  He goes to them and respectfully, compassionately, and patiently reaches out a hand in friendship.  By meeting people exactly where they are, Craig has opened doors to healing and new connection for many folks.

Another example of meeting people where they are can be found in the life of Jesus.  As he traveled and ministered, he ate with “sinners” and “saints” alike, communing with tax collectors and prostitutes and lepers–those most cast aside by society.  While he challenged and encouraged them to grow, he always started by meeting them exactly where they were, reaching out in peace and love.

I wonder what the world would look like if more of us lived like Jesus, like this Vancouver clinic, or like Craig.  It would certainly be a place of much deeper compassion in general, but I also wonder if it would be a place where folks found that healing and recovery would come easier in the midst of a community that truly supports rather than judging and moralizing about one another’s behavior.

Jan 04
0

Start the new year with love

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Love has been on my mind lately!

Lately I’ve been experiencing a synchronicity as a variety of different areas of my life are pointing me toward love.  I have been thinking about love and the many questions about it.  What is love?  From where does love come?  What does it mean for God to love us?  What does it mean to love ourselves and our neighbor?

I have been reflecting on how Jesus was the embodiment of God’s love for us, and how we in turn can embody God’s love for others.  (This was the topic of the sermon I gave at All Pilgrims Christian Church yesterday morning).

Many people like to start out their new year with resolutions.  They will go to the gym more often, spend more time with family and friends, organize and/or get rid of things they no longer need.  Many people also forget their resolutions by February or March, but despite this, we keep making them year after year.

This year, I encourage you to start out the new year with love.  It’s a new year, a new decade, a new start.  How will love inform your actions this hour, this day, this year?   How do you love those it is easy for you to love, and how do you love when it is difficult?

I will leave you with the “love chapter” of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, to meditate on:

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Jan 02
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Light in the darkness – Depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder

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January can be a very dark time, in more than one sense of the word.  While the shortest day of the year occurs in the midst of a time when many are celebrating religious or secular holidays, the short days stay with us well into February before starting to lengthen noticeably.  As the Hannukah gifts are put away, the Christmas tree taken down, the New Years confetti vacuumed up, we return to “life as normal.”  We return to our daily responsibilities and challenges.  This part of the year, when the days are still dark but the partying is largely over, can be a difficult time for many to face.

In the Seattle area, and especially this year, we often experience quite a bit of cloudy weather.  This, combined with the shorter days, can exacerbate feelings of sadness, lack of interest in life, and hopelessness.

Seasonal Affective Disorder, commonly referred to as SAD, is common in this area.  It is estimated that half a million Americans may suffer from SAD, and the further away from the equator a person lives, the more likely she or he is to develop symptoms of SAD.

SAD is very similar to clinical depression, but the key difference is that SAD is only experienced during these dark, winter months.  Are you experiencing any of the following symptoms of depression?

  1. decrease in energy
  2. excessive tiredness
  3. sadness
  4. anxiety
  5. appetite changes
  6. loss of interest in sex
  7. withdrawal from friends and family
  8. difficulty concentrating
  9. strong feelings of sadness
  10. a sense of hopelessness

If you are experiencing some of these things, then you may be suffering from SAD or Depression.  The good news is that, because these are very common conditions, there are many known treatments, including things you can do at home and techniques that a counselor may use with you.  It is also a good idea to have a medical check-up if you are experiencing symptoms of Depression, because certain medical conditions may cause Depression.

While it may not feel like it to persons experiencing SAD or Depression, there truly is hope for life to get better.  Sometimes in the midst of darkness it feels like there will never be light again.  But, even in the midst of this–literally–dark season, the beauty is that each day is getting slightly longer and lighter than the day before.  The weather will continue to get better as spring approaches.  The changing of the seasons teaches us that even in the midst of darkness, there is light.

If you’re having trouble seeing the light on your own, talking to trusted friends and family may be a great help, as well as discussing your concerns with a professional–a counselor and/or a doctor.  If you are concerned that a friend or family member may be experiencing Depression or SAD, this website has some very helpful information.

Life can get better.  There is hope.  It may be hard to gather up the energy to seek help, but reaching out can be the first step toward light in the midst of the darkness.  And you are worth it.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Nov 03
0

A prayer for fall

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Today as I ran errands I noticed the splashes of color that some of the trees still painted with their leaves, while others were almost barren.  Dead, brown, dried leaves littered the road while vibrant, spectacular reds and yellows still grew on some trees.  The season of Fall can remind us of the cycle of life and death.  Trees must shed their leaves to conserve their resources during the winter, in which they are invisibly preparing for the spring, when they will paint the world a vibrant green once again with leaves (and sometimes pinks and yellows and oranges and purples with blossoms and fruit).

This fall, what are you allowing to slough off?  What negative emotions, harmful habits, or unnecessary commitments are you ready to allow to shed–to release–so that you can make room inside for the growth that will lead to the spring?

A Prayer for Fall
by Jim Winkler

O Thou who hast shaped both the world in which we live as well as our lives as individuals and nations according to seasons,
we thank Thee
for realities changeable and unchangeable,
for gentle mornings and cool evenings,
for gifts that sensitize and deepen our spirits
and for the mounting anticipation of holy days and holidays.
We thank Thee for lives deepened and nurtured by loving relationships,
the warm acceptance of friend and family,
the deep ties nurtured within Thy holy Church
and the peace of Thy Spirit in the midst of the struggles of war and torture and debasement.
May these and all Thy blessings shape us into people
more prone to giving than receiving,
more given to gratitude than complaining,
more aware of need than our own self-satisfaction.
Thou knowest, O God, that there is another side to us:
discouragement often tempts us to despair;
anger leads to depression;
tension grows into anxiety;
grief makes us withdraw;
incapacitation tempts us to self-pity;
rejection leads to loneliness.
We bring such subtle turns of mind to Thee, yielding our lives to thine inestimable grace, seeking trust in Thee and Thy will. Lead us from the deserts of unfaithfulness into the rich plains of hope. Guide us from the dark caves of doubt into the illumination of faith. Heal our spirits, give us new life.
Complete the work Thou hast begun. Because of our blessings, release us through a flow of gentleness and mercy that will bring
healing where there is hurt;
peace where there is violence;
beauty where there is ugliness;
justice where there is brokenness;
beginnings where there are dead-ends.
O Thou who art beyond our grasp yet within our reach, past our knowing but answerable to our searching, disturber of the assured and assurer of the disturbed, grant thy grace to those for whom we especially pray:
those who live in darkness of poverty and need the light of prosperity;
those who live in the light or prosperity and need the grace of sharing;
those who live in the midst of defeat and need the peace that passeth all understanding;
those who suffer pain and those who give their lives to healing ministries;
those who have heard the Word and strayed away and those who tell the Truth.
O Keeper of Promises, renew the promise in us and in those we love; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Oct 20
0

Fat Talk Free Week

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This week is Fat Talk Free Week, sponsored by Tri Delta.

This is a week for all of us to take stock of how we talk about our bodies. Are we using negative language or positive language to talk about our bodies? Does the language we use reflect our thankfulness for being alive, for having the wonderful gift that is our body, which allows us to move through the world and do things that we love and that make the world a better place?

Let’s take this week to try a new way of being; a new way of speaking and thinking. Let’s try not to disparage our bodies with “fat talk” such as “I’m so fat!” or “look at my rolls!” or “I really need to lose weight.” Let’s try this, and see how it might make life more vibrant, more life-giving, and allow us to be more grateful for the one wonderful body we’ve been given!

Oct 07
0

A prayer for Mental Health Awareness Week

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October 4th-10th is Mental Illness Awareness Week. My mentor and internship supervisor, Craig Rennebohm of the Mental Health Chaplaincy, wrote the following prayer in honor of the week:

We pray for all who struggle with brain injuries, mental illness, addictions, trauma, and abuse; for all who are fearful and anxious, and for all who suffer in the health of their self and personhood.

We pray for our families in their love and care and limits as they seek to provide relief and foster recovery for loved ones.

We pray for counselors, nurses, doctors, therapists, psychologists, social workers, and case managers, for their good training; and for the administrators and support staff of mental health centers, clinics, and hospitals.

We pray for our neighborhoods, that in every community there may be effective outreach, doors that open readily to care, supportive housing, meaningful work, and opportunities to share in sport, craft, art, and fellowship.

We pray for our public servants, representatives, and leaders, that they may organize effective systems of service and care, blending well the strengths and power of local, county, state, national, and world resources, both public and private.

We pray for institutions of research and learning, sot hat the human community may advance in its understanding nad treatment of mental disorders.

We pray for the conditions of peace, justice, and harmony necessary to the health of us all.

We pray for this congregation, and for all communities of faith, that we may continually take up the work of healing and care as we each are able.

We pray that each may have a home, that all may rest safely and be well.

Feb 21
0

A Joyful Noise — Wedding Homily — Psalm 100

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Psalm 100 (King James Version): Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.  Serve the Lord with gladness; come before his presence with singing.  Know ye that the Lord he is God; it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise; be thankful unto him, and bless his name.  For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Whitney and Sam, we are all so thrilled to be here with you as you covenant with one another today.  You come to us with joy, in a sound relationship with a rich history. In this history of your relationship, there have been easy times and difficult times.  There have been fun times and there have been boring times.  There have been times where you were on the same page and times when you were in totally different books!  But in all the times, there was your relationship, growing stronger, closer, more intimate day by day.  Today is a different kind of day; today you are taking a new kind of step, embarking on a journey of a new way of being with one another.

Whitney and Sam met each other for the first time at a Chrysalis retreat in the fall of 2000.  At the time they met, they were both dating other people!  But such is the beauty of the connectional nature of the United Methodist Church.  As both of their life circumstances changed and they both grew, mutual friends and church activities continued to connect them.  They remember fondly a dinner they shared with some mutual friends, where they wound up sitting together and experiencing some of those initial giddy sparks flying.  Slowly and tenderly over the following months, the relationship took its first steps in the form of a trip to the zoo, a Supertones concert, and holding hands while watching the movie Super Troopers.

This relationship has taken them many more steps forward, through a variety of experiences that brought you closer, till today, where we are all gathered here about ready to witness, in just a few moments, the two of you walking fully into a new way of being with one another.  The vows you are about to make are both an outward sign of an inward state of the relationship, and they will also speak something new into being.  Just as when we say “I love you” for the first time… we love the person already, but saying it speaks a new way of being into the relationship. So it is as well today.  You two have already gone through the kinds of ups and downs that might strain or even break an unstable marriage.  The vows you are about to speak are not new in the sense that they don’t speak to a new way of being you have never experienced.  You already are committed to one another, in sickness and in health… and yet even though the vows speak about the way you already feel and the commitment you’ve already made, the very act of speaking them, here in this place surrounded by your friends and family, will speak into being a new way of relating to one another.

I’m a pastoral counseling student at Seattle University, and one of my classmates, John, recently pointed out that a marriage doesn’t really become real until the couple faces its first real challenge to the marriage.  This may take the form of finding out something about the other person you didn’t realize or don’t like, or it could take the form of an external force causing pressure and tension in the marriage that the couple must now navigate as a team.  It is at this point, John says, that the marriage is solidified.  I agree with my friend John, and I think that it is especially true for couples who don’t have long relationships or engagements before marriage.  Because in this case, rather than cautioning you to be ready for the “downs” as well as the “ups” together, I would say you, Whitney and Sam, already know this truth of married life.  You haven’t just had good times, it hasn’t all been the “giddy honeymoon phase.”  You have faced some serious challenges over the years, and you’ve done so with grace and integrity and in the face of those challenges your relationship has become stronger.  I could stand here before you today and caution you that it’s not “always going to be easy” and that “it’s going to take work.” But I don’t need to, because you already know.

I love that in the midst of a very tough year for the two of you, the scripture you picked for your wedding was one of praise to God.  Psalm 100 is a call to worship, encouraging people to come from whatever circumstances they find themselves in, to join together and worship God.  This scripture lifts up praise, and your choosing of the scripture is so telling.  It tells me that in the midst of pain, strife, and weariness can come praise to God.  And what better example of the unbreakable human spirit to hope and to live and to love than a celebration of a wedding in the midst of economic turmoil?  The external circumstances of the world may bring us security or insecurity, pleasure or pain, comfort or affliction.  But in the midst of that we are called to praise God.  By choosing this scripture, and choosing this time, to make these vows to one another, you are affirming the hope and joy that comes from God alone and is not dependent on external circumstances.

In a few minutes, as you make the wedding vows to one another, remember that just as the scripture you chose is a call to worship, so too can your marriage be a call to you both and to others to live fully into life, to live with hope and courage, and to love fully in the midst of whatever trials may come.  Let your vows be a joyful noise unto the land, declaring that God is an everlasting God of love, goodness, and truth.

Amen.

Jun 21
1

Light of the World — Wedding Homily — Matthew 5:14-16

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Becca, Anthony, we are all so thrilled to be here with you as you make this commitment to one another today. You come here together, in a relationship that already has a rich history of ups and downs, fun times and tougher times, times of perfect harmony and times of not-so-perfect harmony.

I still remember the day that Becca first told me about Anthony. There was something different in her voice, and a different kind of sparkle in her eyes. It’s hard to put a finger on, and I don’t think she actually said “I think he’s the one” but something in her demeanor said that. She had never been quite so excited about a guy before. She told me they had been introduced by a couple of friends—it was only later that I found out that Anthony was supposed to have been set up with a different friend that night! But God managed to still draw these two together that night.

So here we are, celebrating your decision to embark on this new covenanted journey. What does all this mean? What is so special about what’s happening here today anyway? Well, we could probably spend all day talking about the nuances of what makes marriage a unique relationship, but let’s focus on one aspect of it—the way the love between two married people shines in the world.

Matthew 5:14-16 reads: ‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

The purpose of a light shining isn’t that the light itself be seen, but that it illuminates something else. According to this scripture, our light shines so that glory can be given to God. With regards to marriage specifically, I would say the light that shines from a marriage illuminates God’s love for each of us. A marriage is like a city on a hill—it is unable to be hidden from the world. The kind of love that you two will share in marriage can be a beacon of light illuminating the kind of love that God has for us.

What are some of the characteristics of this kind of love? To name just a few, mutuality, work, joy and play, a life-giving quality, and mystery.

When I say “mutuality,” I mean that it is a relationship between two persons who are equally empowered and equipped by God. Two persons who have unique gifts and shortcomings, unique strengths and weaknesses, both walking side-by-side, partners in God’s unfolding plan for their lives.
The two of you already know that relationships take work. The kind of love that we celebrate in marriage isn’t the love of pop songs and chick flick movies (though we’ve had our fun watching those together, haven’t we Becca?). It’s not Cinderella and Prince Charming riding off into a “happily ever after.” There will be times when life throws something difficult your way, and there will be times when your relationship itself encounters speed bumps of one kind or another. But the kind of love you are covenanting today will help you to work through those issues and face life’s problems together, with your shared strength.

Joy and play is an important one that I don’t think gets enough attention in our society. I mean, just look at Jesus—the very embodiment of God’s love for us. And we just heard about him performing his first miracle. Did you notice that Jesus’ first miracle was giving wine to people who were partying? Jesus was God’s love letter to humans, and that part of the letter says, “there are times when it is good to party!” But even when it’s not a time to party, there can still be playfulness and fun. So find times to let your inner child out. Play the Wii together, travel, heck, even have a food fight! Delight in the precious gift you are to one another.

When I say “marriages are life-giving” I don’t just mean in the sense that children may be born. I mean something more than that—that the love in marriages nurtures and sustains life. This may mean children born into that marriage, but it also means the lives of one another, of friends and family, and of the community in general. The kind of love in a marriage is nurturing in that it provides support and comfort, and it is sustaining in that it sees that the needs of each individual, and of the relationship itself, are met.

Finally, this love is a mystery. Rainer Maria Rilke says, “Once the realization is accepted that, even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky.” I love this idea, that even though marriage is the most intimate human relationship we can enter into, we will still never fully know the other. That if a lot of us here are gathered again in 2058 to celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary, there could still be something new you’d learn about each other that day. That is just cool to me! I also love the image that we must stand back from one another before being able to see the other “whole against a wide sky.” And that we must learn to love this distance between us so that we can enter into that wonderful living side by side.

This mysterious, life-giving, joyful love that you two will share will be a beacon of light into the community. The love you have for one another comes from and points to our God who rejoices with us in good times, supports us in tough times, nurtures and sustains us, and however intimate and close God comes to us, always still somehow remains a great mystery. May you find yourselves wrapped ever tighter in this mysterious love in your years together, and may the community around you be blessed by the light of God’s love shining through your love for one another.

Dec 31
0

Above the Snow — New Years Eve Vigil Sermon

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So, did anyone make New Year’s resolutions this year? (solicit responses—get all typicals, and talk about how we make the same ones over and over)

I didn’t make any this year, but I did look through my old journals to find an example of some resolutions I have made in the past.

Jan 1, 1998. This year, I resolve to:

1. Be more on the ball with school-related matters. This means SAT’s, ACT’s, homework, etc. I’ve gotta give it my all–which I’m not doing right now–to get anywhere near God’s ideal for my future.

2. Be less critical and more loving towards my sisters and parents

3. Be a better friend to Cristina, Lara, Vanessa, Whitney & Nicole, and FORGET ABOUT MARK!

4. Talk to God more–Pray DAILY!!

5. Eat more reasonably, exercise more, and LOSE some WEIGHT!!

I made these resolutions when I was 16 years old, in the middle of my junior year of high school. I’d say they are pretty typical of New Year’s Resolutions. There’s the goal of weight loss, of being in better relationship with loved ones, of working hard, and of growing closer to God.

We tend to make the same resolutions year after year because we often fail at them. We look toward the new year with a feeling of a fresh start, and we carry into the new year high aspirations of what we would like to accomplish. But then, we fall into the same patterns of procrastination and laziness, and end up failing at our resolutions. This is also the reason that I personally didn’t make resolutions this year, and I had to go back eight years to find some!

I would like us to think about these resolutions, or any goals and aspirations. What is the source of these resolutions? Societal norms/expectations? Internal desires? God’s leading?

As Christians we can probably agree that the best basis for our resolutions, or other goals, would be God’s will or guidance in our life. So, a lot of people ask me this question: how can you hear God? Is it really that easy to just figure out what God wants you to do, where God is leading? I want to talk for just a minute about how we can listen in to that still, small voice.

One obvious way to do it is to read the Bible. We can look at the Psalsms of praise and use them as an example of how to praise God. The prayers of the prophets, Jesus, and others in the Bible give us an example of how we can pray. We can take advice from the Matthew 25 verse that tells us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit the imprisoned, for we are doing those very things to Christ himself. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Micah 6:8, which asks, “ what does the LORD require of you?” And the answer is as simple and complicated as, “To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

The Bible gives us a great guide for living our life, and it challenges us to consider our actions and our attitudes more closely. But God is not limited to speaking through the Bible. We need to learn how to discern God’s word for our lives as individuals.

Each and every one of us is entirely unique. We have physical differences, our own personalities, likes and dislikes, passions, and communication styles. Just as we would communicate differently to a teenage daughter, a coworker, and the pharmacist, God communicates uniquely with us. God may use logic to an engineer, while he may use concepts to speak to an artist. God may use words, music, feelings, experiences, and many other things to speak to each of us individually. Would anyone be willing to share some of the ways God speaks to you? (elicit responses)

Thank you for your input. God spoke to Joseph through dreams, and the interpretation of dreams. I, and several people I know, also receive messages from God through dreams from time to time. Another way that God speaks to His people in the Bible is through angels. To Elizabeth and Mary God sends angels, to tell them that they are going to become pregnant with the children who would become John the Baptist and Jesus the Christ. While many people today may not be directly visited by angels, we can receive a word of God through the angels, the people, around us every day. God spoke to Moses using a burning bush, and in the same way, God speaks to many people through nature. Some, like the prophet Ezekiel and the Apostle Paul, received visions of grandeur. Perhaps that is like our visions and dreams that we have of doing great things for God. Whether it’s a voice from the sky or a gentle whisper, God can, and does, use all of his creation to speak. The key is: God is speaking to you.

I had a camper once, when I was a small group leader at Indianola, who used the following metaphor: Learning to hear God is like making a new friend. You give them your phone number, and they call you one day. You pick up the phone and say, “hello?” And they say, “hi, this is Jennifer, is Kathryn there?” You reply, “Hi Jennifer, this is Kathryn!” After some time has gone by, you find that when the phone rings and you answer, “hello?” your friend says, “Hi Kathryn, it’s Jennifer!” And still when more time goes by, you get to the point where you pick up the phone, saying, “hello?” and all Jennifer has to say is, “hey” and you say, “hey” back. At first, we may falter. We may need God to confirm that it is really God’s voice we’re hearing. But over time, we get to know His voice, better and better, to the point where all God has to do is say, “hey!” and He’s got our attention.

God knows each of us intimately, because he is our creator, and we are His works of art. Therefore, He is going to speak to you in the way that He knows you will be able to listen. So, unfortunately, I can’t give you a formula. I can’t tell you, “if you pray this prayer, sing this song, and read this book, then you’ll hear God.” But, I can tell you what your challenge is. You know that God is speaking to you, so your challenge is to learn how to listen. And if you still really need a starting point, the best one I can give you is this: “be still and know that He is God,” because what better way to listen than to quiet down ourselves?

On December 1, two things happened. I left Seattle for Kansas City, Missouri, where I was going to visit Saint Paul Theological School. I had felt God leading me there, even though I didn’t exactly know why I was supposed to go, so I had followed His leading. And, it snowed. As I was packing in the morning, the phone rang. It was my dad, who was saying that he thought that we should leave a little earlier than planned for the airport, and before he could finish his sentence, I looked out the window and saw that it was snowing. Gigantic, cotton-like snowflakes were drifting beautifully to the ground.

I was, quite frankly, devastated. Anyone who knows me well knows that I LOVE snow. And, living in this beautiful Pacific Northwest, we really don’t get much of it. We get two, MAYBE three good snows a year. So, here I was packing to leave for the much colder, much drier Kansas City, and the snow falling outside had the promise of bringing everything I love about the snow. All the forecasters were predicting that it was going to reach two inches, and stick for a few days. I had been eagerly anticipating the first snow—making plans for all the wonderful things I would do. I would play with my dog in it, build a snowman with my sister, take a walk with my camera. I watched the snow falling, with the promise of all these things, as I packed to leave. I was so devastated that as I stood in front of the windows at SeaTac airport watching the snow falling, my eyes even teared up. It was something I wanted so badly, right there in front of me, and I couldn’t have it.

So, I boarded the plane, buckled my seat belt, and before I knew it we were off the ground. Somewhere, in the middle of the clouds, the thought occurred to me, “pretty soon, we’re going to be above the clouds.” Now, I fly a lot, and living in Seattle this occurrence of flying in the middle of the clouds and then rising above them isn’t a new or noteworthy thing to me—normally. But that day it occurred to me that I would not only be above the clouds, I would be above the snow.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, I saw a burst of light here and there as we reached the top of the clouds. And eventually we reached the top of the clouds, and as we rose above the very top layer, beautiful, bright sunlight filled the cabin of the plane. I looked out the window to see a beautiful blue sky, with a few patchy clouds hanging off in the distance, and the dark gray snow clouds below me. And it occurred to me, that I was blessed to be one of the few Seattlites who would get to see the snow that day. Most of those people down there wouldn’t see the sun at all today, because they were down under the clouds, where it was snowing.

And truly, that’s where I wanted to be—down in that snow. Playing in it with my dog and my sister, taking a picture walk, enjoying the beauty of it. I didn’t want to be in the sunshine, I wanted to be in the snow! But God had something better for me. In that moment, God wanted me above the snow.

It also occurred to me that light is a very common and strong symbol for God. And what stronger image of light is there than the sun? The sunlight filling the plane cabin was like a metaphor for God’s light filling my life, even as I sacrificed what I wanted. I gave it up, but I was above it, quite literally, and I was in God’s presence as a result.

It did turn out that being at Saint Paul Theological School was exactly where I needed to be that weekend. I met some great people, learned some local history, and got some great pictures. But more importantly, I got a chance to see how seminaries work in general, and Saint Paul specifically, and it really helped me discern my call and where I need to go next year. So, there’s no doubt in my mind that that’s where I needed to be. God didn’t just have something “different” for me than what I wanted. He had something better.

As we look toward the New Year, we have a sense of a clean slate, a fresh start. We have goals, hopes, dreams—we have resolutions. But God very often has a surprising way of sweeping us off the ground, into a better, more perfect situation for us. When we turn our life over to him we find blessings around every corner and every day can be a new adventure. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to hear God’s voice—so that when He speaks, we will go with His leading. Sometimes we are right in line with God’s desires for us; for instance, perhaps God wants just as much as we do for us to work hard at what we do and to spend time with our loved ones. Other times, like when I wanted to be in the snow, God has other, better plans. They may require a sacrifice on our part, but they are always, ALWAYS worth it. As you enter into this New Year carrying all of your hopes, dreams, goals, and resolutions with you, please also take an openness to the possibility of God sweeping you up, off the ground, away from your own ideals, above the snow.

Amen.