Allow me to share a rather personal story with you this month. I experienced a lesson in patience this year at my denomination’s Annual Conference. Many of you know that I was commissioned as a provisional deacon on Saturday, June 19th at the Ordination Service at Annual Conference. It was a beautiful service (even though it ended quite late!) and the Redmond UMC (my home church) handbell choir performing made it even more meaningful for me.
Here is a photo of the moment of my commissioning, with Lutheran bishop Boerger, current United Methodist bishop Grant Hagiya, and retired UM bishop Jack Tuell (who was also my UM History professor!) Next to me are two other candidates, Shalom Agtarap (in black) and Molly Fraser, with Deacon Joy Martin assisting.
What this means is that I am now a member of the Annual Conference; no longer a member of RUMC. This is a “provisional” membership, so it is kind of a middle step between being lay and clergy. I am officially clergy now; officially a deacon. I can perform weddings and have been appointed as Pastoral Counselor at RUMC. However, I won’t have full voting rights at Annual Conference or be considered a “Reverend” until I am ordained, which will be, God willing, in two years, at the 2012 Annual Conference.
This brings me to my reflections about patience. The ordination process is long and fraught with stressful interviews and assignments that must be completed. It can start to feel a bit like “jumping through hoops.” I especially felt like this when I realized, five years into this process, that I still wasn’t done. It’s not that I had thought I was done, it’s more like the “head knowledge” became “heart knowledge.” With a sinking feeling I realized, “I’m still not done with this.” At this thought I grew weary, and, let’s face it, slightly frustrated.
But there is also wisdom in this slow process. This “trial by fire” allows both the candidate and the denominational body to discern the Holy Spirit’s presence and call in the life of the candidate. Sometimes, this discernment leads to a realization that ordination is not right. Especially in light of the recent media blitz about stories of clergy sexual abuse, we can really see the importance of everyone being sure before ordination. Another obvious fact is that the fact that I am not ordained does not impede, in any way, my ability to carry out the ministry to which I have been called, as a counselor and minister.
So I see the wisdom in it, and I am praying to ask for God’s patience. I am leaning on this passage from the first chapter of Paul’s first letter to the people at Colossia:
We have not ceased praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God’s will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may lead lives worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, as you bear fruit in every good work and as you grow in the knowledge of God. May you be made strong with all the strength that comes from his glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light.
This is my prayer for myself, and for all of you.